I've been sick, things happened.

Yeah sorry about not updating since whenever. I've been pretty sick. The Bruins have been pretty laissez-faire. The Leafs, while I don't really give too much of a crap other than about Schenn, have been downright fucktacular. So what's there been to write about. Let's see, I think I can sum up every thing I've missed in a few bullet points.

• Milan Lucic came back from his high ankle sprain and it's taken him about 6 games to start rounding back into form, and took I think 5 for him to score. 
• Marc Savard came back from a tweaked MCL and it took him one game to set up Lucic, and to get the 17-91-81 line back together. Please note: I will never, ever, ever NOT find it hilarious that 17-91-81 is back together with SATAN on the 81 jersey. Irony is my favourite mistress. 
• Marco Sturm came back from something or the other and scored in his first game back.
• Patrice Bergeron came back from a broken thumb and scored in, I believe? His first game back. 
• David Krejci did an almost admirable job of centring the top line whilst the other top centres were out.
• Vladimir Sobotka was awesome.
• Marc Recchi should never be allowed to take faceoffs unless someone else is tossed out of the circle.
• Somehow the Bruins beat the Sharks while missing their top 3 centres, and 3 of their top defencemen. Zdeno Chara taking a slapshot from 15' away in the shootout was one of the greatest things ever.
• Everyone hates Dennis Wideman. I don't. I think he is still pretty great. He's just having the same shitty streak half the team seems to be having. What's up with some dumb bitch going to the PJ Drive and asking him to sign a "How to Skate" book and nagging him about how he sucks? I don't see her out there playing in the NHL. Nice fanship, twatwaffle. 
• I think the Leafs won a game in January.

Then there is the oft-churning rumour mill spouting that the Bruins are looking to pick up Ilya Kovalchuk and/or Dion Phaneuf, with the word in the pipeline that Atlanta wants a player, a prospect, and a pick for Kovy. First off, I find that hard to believe. Unless the player is like, Evgeni Malkin. If Kovy came to Boston, the only untouchable player  in the trade coffers would be Marc Savard, because the whole point of putting Kovy in Black and Gold would be to reunite that scoring tandem. Add in the fact that there's no player on the current roster that any GM in his right mind would give up, that would free up enough cap space, and that Chia-pet has already said there's a better chance of the Leafs winning the Cup this year than there is of him trading that pick he got for Kessel.... Kovy ain't coming to Boston.

And then I come online before dinner to find out the Leafs made a blockbuster trade for Gigurere and Phaneuf. And really, all I have to say about that is, maybe Jason Blake can get some colour on his pale ass out in California, and thank fucking GOD Phaneuf isn't going to Boston. Someone let me know when Burke fires Wilson and I might start paying attention to the Leafs again. Poor Luke Schenn. On the plus side, at least for Schenn, he's now got a new buddy (who's been assigned straightaway to the Marlies) in the system in Keith Aulie, former Wheat King and teammate of a one Brayden Schenn. Find the positives where you can, people.

The Bruins have actually started playing really well, and frankly would've won last night if Thomas' backward momentum on Dustin Brown's shootout goal hadn't slid him and the puck into the net. The Bruins SHOULD have won that game, all things considered. Yeah, sure, they only really delivered about 50 minutes of 65, but you can see last year's Bruins finally starting to come back together. God damned shame it's taken 4 months of the season. And with 2 points separating 6th from 12th in the Eastern Conference.... it should be a fun spring.

Lastly, I would like to say that I love Jack Edwards. No one has more fun than him. And Andy Brickley who has the joy of sitting next to him night in, night out, often wondering when he'll get that 7 second delay and a censor button. Here was last night's (and probably the year's) GEM from Edwards, to kick off the overtime period:

"Krejci and Wheeler are the forwards for Claude Julien in this overtime, with Matt Hunwick and Johnny Bucyk on defence." Insert very long silence where Brick must have just been staring at Jack open mouthed while Jack waited for him to say something, then he realised his mistake. "Oh! I mean Boychuk. Haha, I bet Johnny Bucyk wishes he was out there, eh? Well, they're both from Edmonton, there must be some relation somewhere down the line."

The caveat in this is that, yes, Bucyk and Boychuk are derivatives of the same Ukranian last name, bastardised upon entry into North America, and while I suppose at first glance, the two look similar, I can't really figure out how one could forget that Johnny Bucyk hasn't laced 'em up for the Black and Gold since 1978, and was actually a left winger, not a d-man. But hey, whatever, you win some, you lose some. Well played though, Jack.

Up next for the Bruins are the mighty Caps, who will be missing defenceman Mike Green for the game, who threw an irresponsible peoples' elbow at someone's head and got himself a 3 game suspension. Here's to hoping last year's Bruins show up for this one as well.

Congrats on your 3 wins in January, Boston!

But I'm not all doom, gloom, and sarcasm. A friend of mine found the greatest photo ever of Marc Savard, and I will share it with you, because that's how I do. While probably the most innocuous split-second in a long-forgotten game, this, people, is the reason to get into sports photography. Because every once in a thousand photos, you get something like this:

And that, my friends, is a beauty.

Bs v Hawks: The good, the bad, the ugly

I save the best for last, so we'll start with:

The Ugly

:28 into the game, Marc Savard took an awkward hit, tweaking his knee, went down and didn't return. Word from Julien is he'll be having an MRI today. This is so very not good. 3rd key player to go down in 3 games. Are the Bruins jinxed? If anyone knows a good protection charm to put on the remaining players, now might be the time to get that done.

The Bad
Obviously #1 here is the 5-2 loss. But let's be a little realistic. This is a Franken-Bruin team against the top team in the league. That they scored 2 goals was a blessing if we're going to be honest about things. #2 is that Tim Thomas was pulled after the 4th goal, a 65' wrister of Duncan Keith's that rang in and down off the crossbar. My first thought after that goals was, better pull Tim, and sure enough Coach did. Whether it was a mercy pulling, or a sending-a-message pulling, I don't know. But Tuukka managed to keep the Hawks to only one goal in the remaining period in a half. Sometimes I wonder if Timmy has a Vezina hangover. Sidenote: my 5 year old niece thinks it's cheating by catching the puck. Oh I have much to teach her. Morning lessons in goal-tending commencing in 3.... 2.... 1.

The Good
My favourite part.  Where to start. Let's start with what we all know is my favourite: The return of Milan Lucic.

Now, listen. You can't expect a guy to miss 18 games in a row, who has played a total of 10 (now 11) games this season, and jump back on the ice his first game and kick ass. Yeah, he was rusty. Yeah his hands looked a little heavy. Yeah he wasn't quite back in the groove. But the point is, he's back in the lineup, and with Mark Stuart and Andrew Ference out, despite not being a defenceman, Looch's presence is needed, desperately. No one's afraid of Adam McQuaid or Johnny Boychuk. For what it's worth, Looch had 16:23 of ice time, 5 hits, and was a -2. Considering how the game ended, that's a successful return.

Good #2: Satan scored his first goal as a Bruin, and his first goal in 6+ months. Am I the only one who finds hilarious irony in the word "Satan" being above the #81? No? Good.

Good #2a: Blake Wheeler once again had a multi-goal game, scoring off of Johnny Boychuck's rebound, and figuring in on Satan's goal. If it's not Wheels with the multi-goal games, it's Krejci or Boychuk. I'm liking this new trend. Welcome to the new guard.

Good #3: Johnny Boychuk's first NHL fight, vs Hawks tough guy Colin Fraser. A continuation of Derek Morris' first-period fight with Fraser. JB, however, got the point across a little better than did DeMo.

I'm really starting to love JB. If he's not breaking glass with his slapshots, he's breaking faces with his fists, or sending crisp passes up ice. This guy's a keeper, and giving how our D is dropping like flies (dear God, please don't let Chara or Wideman go down, please please please), he should figure to be in the lineup for a while still. Here's hoping Julien keeps him even once Ference and Stuart are healthy.

Don't forget the Frozen Fenway tonight, the marquis game being the Battle of Comm Ave with puck drop at 7:30 pm. That should be a great atmosphere. It should be around 18°F with snow at when the Eagles and Terriers take the ice. They're college kids, they can take it! Go Eagles!

Up next for the Bruins are the witless/winless Rangers. Unless you count that last time they played the Bruins. I mean for God's sake, the THRASHERS beat them last night. If the Bruins can get their game a little back on track, and re-group with Savvy out (or, miracle of miracles, with Savvy back on the ice having nothing more than a teeny tiny minor tweak), there's no reason this team can't be beat. I mean it's the fucking Rangers, c'mon.

Know your teammates .... Deal with the devil?

Dear Boston Bruins,

I love you very much. I have a lot of items with your names and logo on them. I support you everywhere I go. I write a blog about your team and how awesome you (most times) are, but I feel the time has come that we need to address a little situation I've been noticing far too much of late: Knowing who your teammates are.

May I present the evidence?

Several games ago, can't recall which but I want to say v Atlanta on 12/30, Blake Wheeler and David Krejci ran into each other head-on. Well, chest-on. Krejci, of course, bounced off the brick wall of Wheels, shot him a dirty look, and climbed back onto the bench.

Last night (please feel free to correct my evidentiary findings, as we all know I don't get to see games on Versus), not only did Patrice Bergeron block a shot of Dennis Wideman's (with his hand, resulting in riding the IR for 2-6 weeks), but Derek Morris attempted to cut David Krejci's head off. I only have photographic proof of one of these instances:

But fret not, dear Bruins. I'm here to help you out with simple team-mate recognition skills. If you look down at your jersey, if it's white, avoid shots and hits from the other guys in white. Same if your jersey is black, or gold. If the guy is wearing any other colour, have at him. Think of the guys in your same coloured jersey as fellow soldiers on the battlefield. While there are such things as "friendly fire," "collateral damage," and "acceptable losses," those really only apply on an actual battlefield, with guns, and life-or-death situations, which as much as it feels like, hockey is not. When in doubt, check your jersey out. Bergie, you get well soon.

In a semi-related segue, I've been thinking this over a little bit, and I almost wonder if Chiarelli didn't inadvertently make a deal with the devil. Haha, I crack me up. No, I mean it only semi-metaphorically. Chia-pet signs Satan, and two days later, the team's best player is injured, in the oddest of ways (blocking a teammate's shot with his hand??), leaving open a roster spot for when Milan Lucic returns, so as to not have to waive or send anyone down from the current roster. Think it through and tell me you don't see the irony/coincidence there. I personally don't believe there's any such things as coincidences.

But look! Looch wearing a mistletoe toque and Ference wearing a frosty the snowman toque while hanging out with sick kids! Day brightener!

Do you think they get to keep the toques???

Winter Classic Moments | Satan offencive?

I have millions of photos of the Classic, and there's no way I have the time nor inclination to post all of them, so here's a few favourites. And huge props to the B's for being the first home team to win the Classic. Bruins, what!

Miro Satan signs with the Bruins
Well this was an interesting development. What has Satan been doing this season, other than not playing in the NHL, and "training" in Long Island? I can't quite figure out the theory behind this signing. I realise the B's need some offence, but last season, Satan only had 17 goals and 19 assists, playing with Crosby and Malkin. As a point of reference, Lucic had 17 goals and 25 points, and is on IR until, likely, Friday vs the Blackhawks.

Once Looch makes his return, Chiarelli is faced with the choice of who to either waive (Paille? A good addition to the team, and sure to be picked up on the wire before making it to the P-Bruins), or send back down Providence. The semi-obvious choice at this point is to send Sobotka back down as he doesn't have to clear waivers, but with how he's been playing, which doesn't necessarily reflect on the stat sheet (4 goals, 3 assists), it seems illogical. Especially to replace a 22 year old coming into his game, who hits like he's 80lbs heavier (why doesn't the NHL include hits, MS, A/B, TK and GV in their comprehensive stats anymore, when they're included on the game sheets?), with a 35 year old who hasn't played in about 6 months, and hasn't been a huge offencive threat since 2005, when he put up 35 goals and 31 assists.

So what will happen with Lucic comes off IR? Remains to be seen, but given the Bruins' performance at the Classic, while chippy and rattled at times, the addition of Satan confuses the shit out of me. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. And while I realise the Bruins are one of the lowest teams in the league with 2.5 GPG, I still don't see how adding Satan to the lineup will make much of an impact. Unless he's been added to the roster as trade bait for the upcoming trade deadline? So many ifs and so many questions. Expect to see Satan playing on Monday v the Rangers. I, of course, will not be seeing it, since it's on Versus, and I have DirecTV. Fuck you again, Comcast.

I just hope that before he retires, Satan signs with the Devils. Then my hockey fandom will be complete. Hopefully that will happen in March.

I'm vexed.

Happy New Year from the Bruins