FIREWAGON HOCKEY PRESENTS: THIS WEEK'S SOUTHEAST DIVISION ALL STAR

Last night I had all intentions of watching the Islanders/Panthers game, because I was eager to see the Islanders and Billy Guerin, whose arsenal of talents include an outstanding ability to see the ice, strong physical play, and a wicked wrister, take on the Panthers and Gregory Campbell, whose arsenal of talents include having the same last name as Colin Campbell, and that's pretty much it. Sadly, 'twas not to be

SOOOO today I was checking the stats and scores from last night and, hilariously, I find this:


Ladies and gentlemen, your Eastern Conference All Star Starting Line Up is now complete. Someone get the Hall of Fame on the phone, 'cause they're probably gonna wanna clear some room on the wall for Greg now. It's obvious with numbers like this Greg Campbell is on a rocketship to NHL stardom and ain't nothing gonna slow this train down.

No, I am full of shit. Greg Campbell is beyond useless. I could hang out in front of the opposing goalie net in my bunny slippers and bathrobe and sip cocoa and be more effective defensively than this clown. I could also score more goals if I crossed the ice on stilts wearing oven mitts to grip my stick than he can wearing the proper equipment. My only assumption is that Greg's $625,000 is some sort of compensation to him for showing up and making everyone else look less inept. Otherwise, I can't explain it. You could flush $625,000 down the toliet at Grand Central station and it would be less of a waste than paying it to this fool.