Here is the o-riginal photo:
Wow me. Photoshop (or Paint) it into coolness. Make it a LOL-John. Make it tasteless. Or just show some creativity (like I did below!). Just make sure it's funny. Your bitterness is not what I'm looking for here. LAUGHTER WILL GET US THROUGH THIS DARK TIME, PEOPLE!
Winner of the contest (as decided by me, and possibly popular vote), will win a print quality AWESOME digital photo of their favorite player - suitable for printing, getting autographed, and framing. Do not sell on eBay or I will find you and kill you. That is not a threat, it's a promise.
Contest ends like... I dunno. Anonymous submissions also welcome. Send all submissions to the FireWagon email. Although I dunno how you're going to anonymize that. Perhaps just leave a comment with a link to your submission. How's that? Rock on, my friends. May the schwartz be with you!