14 November 2007

Half-assed post-gamer, mostly just making fun of the Kittens


From gorgeous and talented FWH co-blogger That's How You Do It who is way too lazy busy to log in and post this herself, a quasi-recap of last night's game. Perhaps it is at this juncture of our relationship that we should inform you of our dislike, nay, blind repugnance, for one Greg "My dad is director of hockey operations for the NHL but I worked hard to get where I am" Campbell. There, now you're informed. Onto How You Do's recap!

From the Florida Sun Sentinel...

Point vanishes in seconds

Atlanta ties late, then seals win early in overtime
| South Florida Sun-Sentinel

Gregory (Crap)bell was sent to the penalty box for tripping Marian Hossa with 1:09 left. Hossa shot in the puck off defenseman Jay Bouwmeester's skate with 2.6 seconds left. Ilya Kovalchuk fired in the winning goal 25 seconds into overtime.....

...............Hossa then pulled his pants down and tea bagged Greg while Ilya banged Greg's sisters at center ice. Honestly, the two of them could not have owned Greg more if they tied him up and one set fire to the Campbell homestead while the other drowned the family pets. God I love them both so much.

"It doesn't matter how they scored, but they did," said Bouwmeester, who assisted on the go-ahead goal, but turned over the puck in overtime to set up Kovalchuk's goal. "It's pretty disheartening. …We had it at the end of the game and couldn't put it away."

Um. yes it does Jay. Yes it does. and I'm no member of the NHLPA or anything, but I am pretty sure according to the collective bargaining agreement, this gives every guy in that locker room the right - nay, the OBLIGATION - to take turns punching Greg in the nuts. Really hard. Look, I'm just saying...don't blame me I don't make the rules. This is something YOU GUYS ratified.

"I don't take lazy penalties most of the time," Campbell said.

I'm afraid going to have to agree with Greg here. Most of the time he's taking STUPID IDIOTIC penalties, not lazy ones, so you can see the there is a difference. If there is one thing I can say about Greg, it's he is not lazy about his ineptitude, no sir. Don't you call him lazy. His efforts at being the most pathetic player on the ice are anything but half assed, and most nights he accomplishes that mission. Greg has put his heart and soul into being woefully bad and let's give his incompetence the recognition it deserves, ok??? It takes effort to be this tragic at your job. A little respect here people, huh?

"I guess we're going to have to live with it, I'm going to have to live with it, but I don't agree with it." Campbell said. "It's a minute left, they're going to pull the goalie and it's going to become a 6-on-4. It's not a comfortable position when you're sitting in the penalty box no matter what kind of call it was."

Seriously, why is this guy still employed as a professional hockey player? You could slap some skates and a "Campbell 11" jersey on a goddamn koala bear from the Miami Zoo and no one would notice the difference except aaaaaawwww koala bear, so cute. And maybe people would be like, "holy cow is Campbell playing better defensively?" This guy is so damn stupid he's one step above being kept in a cage for his own protection.


That's how you do it! That's how you debate! said...


At last we've found something the Panthers are good for.

Making fun of. tee heheheheeh

Maal said...

HEEEEEE!!!! Well someone has to be the butt of everyone's jokes.

Have I told you lately that I love you? Have I told you, there's no one else above you?

That's how you do it! That's how you debate! said...

....being the butt of jokes would be a nice switch from the fact they are usually a boil on the butt of the league.


Maal said...

C'mon now, the two aren't mutually exclusive. It's just an added bonus. A resume padder if you will!

Boy how much does Tommy Vokoun hate life right now, eh?


Sandi said...

OMG! Stop making me laugh at this wannabe hockey player. Seriously you screwed up now live with it. Um Jay you have to play until you hear the buzzer because anything can happen especially when Hossa and Kovy are on the ice.

No but seriously I can't stop laughing=)