24 August 2008

[Not Hockey] 100 things about Maali, Part I

I have resisted this for so long... now watch me cave.

This is not a blog about me. You might have noticed this from time to time while looking at delicious photos of the Thrashers, or perhaps reading about our new draftees. However, it's August. There is no hockey. There is no hockey news. I hate this fucking month. Not only is it normally disgustingly hot and humid (although it's been simply delightful lately), but there's no god damned hockey except anticipation of camp. Fucking August. Totally useless, non? Thus, because I've never met a bandwagon I didn't like, and because I am dying to post SOMETHING, I give you Part I of "100 Things About Me You Don't Care About." Please note, this could wind up being "10 things about me I don't even care about" but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

1. I am an only child (I see lightbulbs going on over heads all across the world).

2. I am a natural redhead.

3. I am a Scorpio. OK at this point I have to stop myself, because let's be honest. I could tell you those three things, and you would mostly likely correctly assess my personality: I'm a bitch who is used to getting her way. Alas, this has not filled enough space to qualify as content, so I will continue.

4. I tested as "genius" at age 10. Despite being rather smart, I'm often lacking in common sense. Not so much street smarts though, as evidenced below.

5. I was mugged at gunpoint in front of my house, and told the guy he was fucking crazy, asked where his manners were, and made him open the front door for me (my arms were full of groceries). After a moment of confusion, he opened the door for me, then went off to mug 3 more people up the street. The police were stunned at my cojones.

6. I'm very condescending, and sarcasm is my first language. I am also the funny one in any situation.

7. If one could buy patience, I would get it mail ordered monthly because I have none.

8. Nor do I have tolerance for homophobes, bigots, liars, morons, bad parents, bad drivers, incompetence, and really, this list is kind of endless. I mostly hate everyone.

9. I like to cuss. A lot. You probably noticed this about me! I lie and say it's because my dad was military, but the truth is, I just like the word "fuck" a lot. But Daddy really was a military man.

10. I am Daddy's Girl. In every way possible.

11. Daddy passed away in May of 2006. I didn't think I would live through it.

12. I have 3 tattoos and can't wait to get the next.

13. I'm an East Coast mama, born and raised, and can not imagine ever living any further west than Atlanta. Because EAST IS THE BEAST!

14. I used to work for a touring rock band, as a Jane of all trades. I got paid in alcohol, gas money, and sleeping space. I traveled the entire country, lived in my car, and it was the poorest I have ever been. I absolutely loved it.

15. I'm a program manager for a big internet company. I love love love my job and would probably work 120 hours a week if they would pay me for it. (Hi, co-workers!) The one thing I hate about my job is the 46 mile commute I have to work. One way.

16. I got into hockey because I have always had insomnia. When I was a kid, the only thing on TV late at night was western conference hockey on ESPN. I fell in love with the game when I saw my first fight, and THEY LEFT THE BLOOD ON THE ICE!!!!1!1!1 Aaah, the good old days.

17. Luc Robitaille's rookie year as a player was my rookie year as a fan. I cried when he retired. Lucky Luc was my first, and all-time favourite player.

18. I am really pretentious, and like spelling words the European/British way. It started when I was a kid and liked to aggravate my teachers, but I earned the right to spell that way because I lived in Australia for a while. Brisbane, if you're wondering.

19. For a long time, I wanted to be a forensic pathologist, but the years of school attached to getting the MD/PhD required was overwhelming, particularly the focus on the maths. I am not a maths person. Nor am I an organised-learning person.

20. I grew up in a house that was occupied during the Civil War, and served as slave quarters for the master house slaves. Thus boldly segueing, we had ghosts. In fact, every place I've lived, but for one, had ghosts, including the current. None of the spirits have been hostile, which makes living with them kind of cool.

21. My twin (step-)nephews (aged 3) are the loves and lights of my life. I have passed my love of hockey onto them, and one of my greatest moments was when one of them, at the end of a game, walked into the other room to look at that TV, then back into the room we were in, then said "Where hockey go??"

22. I speak English, French, Russian, Italian, Spanish and can read German and Finnish. French is the only language I learnt in a classroom environment. The rest I taught myself or picked up.

23. On the whole, I am not as much a fan of teams as I am of players. As such, were Kari to go to another team, my loyalty would follow.

24. I have had a a life-long love/hate affair with my given names.

25. Abby Sciuto is my personal fictional idol.

Part II coming... maybe one day.


Mortimer Peacock said...

Jesus Christ, not only do you spell things the British way, but you use the word "maths" instead of "math." Wonderful.

I lived in the UK for three years. Like Australia but with miserable weather and uglier people and much less space.

Maali said...

I can also swear in Australian and British!

Yes! And the surfing is a lot better down under. :D

Mortimer Peacock said...

I'd love to live somewhere surf-friendly...apparently Rob Blake and Chris Chelios are surfing fanatics. Maybe I should move to L.A. and hang with them...

Maali said...

My immediate thought was "there's surfing in Denver and Detroit?!"