14 November 2009

Kessel, Lehtonen, Lucic, Schenn

Coming up with post titles is hard.

Wait, quick story that semi-relates to that. So a long time ago, I used to do a website for this NHL player (who is no longer playing, btw - see? I'm a curse.). He was an extremely popular player at the time, for his mad fighting skills, and one of the promotions I did was print out about 50 pictures of him beating another guy's ASS in one of the top fights in the NHL (tip: vs. a Bruin), and I wanted him to sign them all for giveaways. He had no problem with that, but he's standing there signing them, and we're just shooting the shit while he does, and after about the 30th picture, he just randomly says, "I really hate having a 5 in my number." I just blinked and stared at him blankly. "Writing 5's is really hard. Especially when you have to do a lot of them." True story, I do not lie. Well I do sometimes, but I swear to fucking god, that is the absolute gospel of that story.

Moving on. Today's topics have been easily summarised in alphabetical order because I'm beyond witty titles right now. So let's go.

Phil Kessel
I will go ahead and retract what I said about how I didn't think Kess would be as good on the Leafs as he was on the Bruins. Not to say I think he'll be the Leafs' saviour, but he damned sure appears to be trying. What I noticed last night, specifically, was that instead of needing Marc Savard dishing to him, he's figuring out how to find, predict, and snatch random passes. Which I applaud. Phil Kessel I applaud you! Truculence.

Kari Lehtonen
PM: I hope you got a laugh out of it, and the glitter didn't cause an international incident.

Milan Lucic
Today Looch joined the B's for the pre-game skate. Not cleared yet to shoot a full slapper, but he was taking snappers and wristers, and half-assed slappers. He was sporting the Dmen's black jersey, which is a huge step up from the no-contact red jersey. Looch, you heal that finger and get back on the ice. And Savvy, you heal that foot. Despite the B's being .500 right now, and playing their asses off in a lot of games for little (1pt) or no results, I honestly believe that the double threat of Looch & Savvy is gonna help lift the B's up into a higher spot in the conference. I BELIEVE!

Luke Schenn
Oh Luke. Luke, Luke, Luke. How do we find you the confidence you so desperately need? Is the pressure too much? Is being referred to  as "Our Luke and Saviour" just too much? The media turning on you getting to you? You need to compartmentalise, sweetheart! Fuck the bloggers. Fuck the media. Fuck everything and everyone. You got to the Show and had a phenomenal rookie season. It's only 16, 17 games into the season. No one fails to live up to their hype, or falls short on expectation, or washes up after only 16 or 17 games. Tear up the next reporter that asks you about the sophomore jinx. Take up boxing in your spare time and really learn how to kick some ass. And not do... this.

Boxing also helps release stress. Unfortunately, confidence isn't something anyone can help you find, you just need to  have more faith and belief in yourself. And fans? Have some faith in #2. He at least is still living up to his Human Eraser nickname, even if it goes unnoticed in the face of his mistakes:


And just a little reminder of how awesome of a player Luke is, because a lot of people seem to have forgotten of late:

And as a small self promotion, though I'd be surprised if you got this far, I'm selling some jewelry on eBay. You should buy it. It's very nice. And proceeds of the sale will go to keeping me insured while unemployed. Thank you!

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