Examining the DirecTV/Versus debacle

Subtitle: What the fuck is going on? Dog and pony show? I think so!

Here's what's on the Versus channel right now. Apparently this message was launched on 1 September (hi, I'm slow?)

Unfortunately, Versus is no longer available on this channel

Comcast, our largest competitor, has forced us to pull down this channel. Comcast charges us fees to air Versus, and they are now demanding an unfair and outrageous increase in those fees. In these difficult economic times, we do not want to pass this increase on to you, our valued customer, so we are standing firm in the negotiations on your behalf.

For more information, go to directv.com/versus

DirecTV claims Versus/Comcast raised their rates that they charge DirecTV to air the channel, to which DTV responded, "DirecTV ... already pays Versus more than any other independent distributor and that the 20% hike it is seeking 'for what is basically a paid programming and infomercial channel with occasional sporting events of interest is simply piggish.'"

However, Comcast fired back, stating that was not, in fact, the case, and that DirecTV wanted to have Versus taken out of the Total Choice Xtra Package (free, shown to 14 million subscribers) put into the Sports Package ($11.95/mo extra, with 6 million subscribers), causing a 107% loss in viewership. Caveat here is that number is not factoring in the people who would purchase the sports package simply by the virtue of being able to watch Versus.

DirecTV then returned fire, and claimed they wanted Versus included in an AT250 Tier similar to that which other satellite providers use to carry the network. Additionally, the AT250 Tier on DirecTV carries triple the viewership of Dish network (closest competitor), and offers 35% "penetration rate" (man that sounds dirty), which works out to a flat 3.5 share - considerably higher than the share Versus was getting previously. If my math is correct, as-was, Versus was only receiving a .7% share, give or take.

Let's delve a little further involved in this, shall we? I'll pick some random round numbers in order to make this easier on me.

Vs on DTV TCX
14 million viewers @ .18c/viewer (previous cost) = $2,520,000 for Comcast
Vs on DTV Sports
6 million viewers @ .22c/viewer (previous + 20%) = $1,296,000 for Comcast
Vs on DTV AT250
~18* million viewers @ .18c/viewer (previous) = $3,240,000 for Comcast
Vs not on DTV
0 viewers @ .0c/viewer = $0.00 for Comcast
(*speculative number, based on a 30% increase over the TCX viewership)

Wait, what?  Either I'm skipping a vital fact here, such as a greater rate increase upon inclusion in the Sports package on DTV, or Comcast has lost their damned mind. Not only are they losing their Nielsen share, but they'd be losing money with in the new package. And by toeing the hard line, and letting DTV drop them, they've lost a minimum guarantee of $2.5m/year. I can think of about 300 hockey players who'd kill for $2.5m/year. OK maybe not KILL. You get my point.

Is anything being done about this anywhere? By anyone? Petitions won't work here, I'm talking like, has anyone stormed the NHL offices and demanded that NHL Network take over the showings of Versus games, realtime? No seriously.

We the people should be dropping emails to NHL Network, and the NHL, to request that they simulcast the Versus games. Given that NHL Network (USA) is required to be offered on any cable system that also offers Center Ice, it's almost a no-brainer to offer the otherwise blacked-out games to its subscribers, either via the NHL Network channel, or on Center Ice itself. You can contact NHL Network via this page - scroll to the bottom of the frame to their contact form. And you can contact the NHL directly via their contact page. Or if you're really one of those go-getter types, you can pick up the phone and call NHL HQ in New York - 212/789.2000, and ask for Adam McCullum (Senior VP of Broadcasting).

I'm quite certain there're a few million people out there to whom Versus has never been offered (Hello Central and Western Pennsylvania!) who this doesn't affect at all, however, this could be the opportunity they've needed to get Versus shown in their area.

All I know is, the B's/Caps game is on Versus tomorrow night, and I don't get to see it until either 3am or 2pm the next day, on NHL Network. And frankly, that's just WRONG. Because it's all about me, obviously.

Remember, people. This is America. We have a black president. We can do ANYTHING when we stand up for what we want. Well apparently we can't get the war to end, or get the government to direct more funding internally rather than internationally, or get out of a recession, but we can damned sure get some hockey games shown if a stand is made.

Who's wrong in this situation? I have no idea, but based on my (probably fictional) numbers, Comcast is coming out looking like the asshole (surprise!) and DirecTV has the upper hand.

In summary, here's all the contacts you'll need to express your outrage and disappointment, and demand Versus be shown to EVERYONE, or the games they broadcast be simulcast to those who have shelled out the money to see every NHL game:

DirecTV: versus@directv.com
Versus:  Demand Versus on DirecTV
Comcast: 215/463.1100 - request the Director of Sports Programming
NHL Network: Contact Page
NHL.com: Contact Page
NHL Offices: 212/789.2000 - request Adam McCullum

Someone, somewhere, at some point, needs to realise that hockey isn't a Big 4 sport in the United States because there is no consistency in programming or broadcasting, and having channels and networks and carriers change every year is helping insure the casual fans won't bother trying to find the games.

Will this be the year?

Wait, what?

OK, so, I have no idea on the accuracy of this, but I just got a Google Alert that Moose JUST signed a multi-year contract extension. You can read the "article" here. Can't find a single thing anywhere else on Google about it so either this random person knows something the rest of the world does not yet, or it's bullshit.

Also, thanks to Mathieu Schneider Count von Count, I stand corrected on my previous post about how many goalies are competing for 2 spots. There are not four, not five, but six! Six goalies, mwahahahaha. Given that the Thrash have about 0 national exposure during pre-season, I hope my error can be forgiven. Mea culpa.

Ummmm. Yeah I don't have much else for you. Hope everyone's staying dry.

I heart my fantasy team!

Stay safe

Dear everyone reading in or near the flooding in the Southeast,

It's not worth much, but you're in my thoughts. Best of luck to everyone, and I hope all escape unscathed and intact. I wish there was more I could offer than meaningless words. Please stay safe, keep your loved ones close, and remember things are just things, and can be replaced.

With love and concern,
Maal

If I were the GM....

You know how I love me some Kari Lehtonen. But wait! This year there is not just one other goalie competing for his spot, not just two, but THREE! THREE GOALIES! Honestly I think there might even be four if we consider the baby goalie from last summer's draft. But we'll skip him for right now (no offence, baby goalie whose name I can't recall... Danique? I dunno. It's too early.)

Kari Lehtonen
A super-star of Patrick Roy magnitude when not injured or recovering from injury. Kari's not yet made his first camp appearance, but is expected today, as he's still recovering from his off-season laminotomy. I've been there, twice, and frankly I was pretty surprised that he thought he would be ready for camp. While he's likely recovered from the invasion of the procedure, there's a sizeable entry point in the skin that one can not risk opening. What's the number one thing one can do to open an incision like that? Play goal. OK and swing dancing, but I'm not really guessing that's a big hobby of Kari's. Golf also a little questionable, but I've never seen the kid on the links, although it IS great therapy for when your entire team pisses you off. I'm digressing, where was I? Oh yes! This has to be Kari's year. It has to be the year he throws down, ignores how his team plays in front of him (although really, Ex is gone, Kubina's here, Bogo's healthy, let's hope for the best shall we?), and just gets into his zone. A zone not unlike the one he was in once the Thrashers were mathematically eliminated last season. When was that anyway? January? I can't tell you how many games I have DVD'd labeled "THRASH BLOW, KARI SHINES!" It's time he stops depending on the team in front of him, and starts believing in himself, and frankly, says FUCK ALL HATERS! You can do it, Karppa. I believe in you.

Ondrej Pavelec
Not a franchise goalie, but a possible cornerstone to focus a rebuild around. Ondrej's probably pretty god damned pissed off right about now. He's proven he's an NHL calibre goalie, and yet, here he still is, the third in line of a team with four or five signed goalies. Which means time relegated to the bench, or a lot more time in Chicago. How many more Calders will he need to win to get his due shot in the Show? For his sake, I hope the team will cut him lose if he doesn't land one of the two coveted spots on the Thrashers. Hahaha, I said "coveted spots on the Thrashers." I crack me up!

Johan Hedburg
Had one fantastic year in the NHL, and is one of the best veterans in the game to learn from. If I were running this team, I would kindly suggest Johan hang 'em up, and let us hire him on as a goaltending coach, which if memory serves, the team still doesn't have. In my honest opinion, there is probably no better NHL goalie to learn from. One of the adages of hockey is that the best players are the worst coaches, and I'm not saying JoJo is a "worst player" but he is not in the upper stratosphere. Plus he has his own goalie school in Leksand. Plus he owns a team in Sweden. Plus he doesn't take anything personally and lets it all roll off his back. And PLUS, he was brought in to Atlanta specifically to mentor Kari. Let's just keep traveling down the path fate started laying out, and offer him a high-paying job as goalie coach.

Manny Legace
Oh Manny, how you  make me laugh. I have a soft spot for this guy, even if I could not give a shit less about any of the teams he played for previously. He's affable, charming, has a thick skin, has won a Cup or two (I think? I'm probably wrong), and has been an All Star multiple times. This is a good guy, and one that is desperately needed in the room. He's the Colby Armstrong of goalies. Or the Marc Savard, to go back in time a little. He would also do well to serve as a goalie coach/mentor, but dollars to donuts, Kari is not going to take to him like he did to Johan. The Scandinavian connection between the other two goalies, despite the tension that was apparent between them last season, is too strong a bond for Kari to break off and immediately turn to a new mentor.

So in summation, if I were the GM, here's what I would do about the goalie situation:

1. Buy out Hedberg's contract and offer him a well-paid position as goalie coach;
2. Trade Pavelec to a team desperately in need of a cornerstone goalie, in exchange for a Savard-like passer;
3. Name Legace the back-up goalie, and split it 70/30 between he and Lehtonen;
4. Assign Lehtonen a sports psychologist, perhaps Marty Brodeur has some free time, to help him grow a thicker skin, and learn to ignore everything around him but the puck.

That's what I'd do if I were the GM. But I'm not, so speaking as me, my offered solution is to trade Kari to the Capitals (seriously, how the fuck is Jose Theodore able to focus and play? If I lost one of the kids in my life, that would be it, I couldn't go on.) in exchange for Boyd Gordon and Karl Alzner, and then all would be right in the world.

Also, I'd like to take a brief moment to point out just how much the Thrashers lost when they let Marc Savard go:

 

Marc Savard is so damned good, he doesn't even have to play to score.  FYI the GWG was scored by Jeff Penner. Well done, NHL.com. You guys keep working out the kinks, eh?

LASTLY! I've started a new blog. It's a generic hockey blog, so I don't bore the Thrash fans with my ramblings about all the other teams and players I pay attention to. It's called English & Profanity. Bookmark me!