We're so bad, we make the Leafs look good

3-1

Dear Atlanta Thrashers,

Kari hate you all so bad.

Can we have Jason Smith and Anton Volchenkov? Please?

5-3
Live blogging. I'll share with you some quotes I love from the broadcast:

"It's been a goaltending clinic."
"The goaltender is keeping them in it."
"The Thrashers do get out of [this period] 0-0, thanks to their goaltender."
"Kari Lehtonen putting on a big show in the first period of this game."
"Welcome to the Kari Lehtonen show. You can't play any better than he did in that period. He should sue for [lack of] support. Only Lehtonen kept this a game for your Atlanta Thrashers."
"This looks like a team waiting for the other shoe to drop."
"Kari in front of the net, outstanding. Kari behind the net? Just standing."
"Kovy's dancing in the 2nd period like we haven't seen in some time."

1st Period:
OK you know what? The completely uneducated Canes fans serenading Kari with the "you suck" really need to learn a new name on our roster. If there's anyone on this team who does not, in fact, suck, it is Lehtonen. With a minute left in the 1st, Kari's got his helmet off, and already looks ready to murder one, or all, of his teammates.
SOG: Carolina - 22 (+5 blocked) | Atlanta - 5 (+2 blocked)
Hockey cliche to sum up the period: We were not as good as we should be.

2nd Period:
The best save of the game so far by Cam Ward was on a great play started by Jimmy Slater. I blinked and they scored. That one's all on Kari though, what the hell, Hasek?? Get your ass in that crease. Ohhh how nice, Perrsy put the puck in the net. Way to be, Frenchie! That was the most anticlimactic goal I've ever seen. Did Eric even touch that? 1-1. I think he broke a nail on that one. Jesus Christ I can't type a complete thought without someone scoring in this period. How the hell did that even go in? I've seen the replay 3 times and still can't figure it out. 2-1. Awesome, we just totally negated the power play. TIME FOR FIRE WAGON HOCKEY BOYS! (you see how I did that there?) Wow, Holik's got some moves. Um. Havlid? Can you not fall into Lehts? The last damned thing we need is our own players interfering on Kari. Well we survived the 4-on-4 and the abbreviated PK. Thank god for small favours. BEAUTY of a one-time snapper from Dupuis from the top of the crease. Shame Cammy-bear had his eye on it all the way. SOMEONE PLEASE HIT WARD! Am I the only one who thinks that when the goalie leaves the crease, they should be open to being hit? OH MY GOD, did Larsen deflect that goal into his own net? Ooooh, looks like Samsonov kicked it.... cross your fingers kids. Of course, the rules have changed now, so it will probably be a goal. I have to say that from our view, the top half of his blade left the ice, which makes it no-goal. Alas..... we got hosed. 3-1. Aww Tobi, thanks for trying, buddy. Keep trying though! At least someone's taking shots. Not that that one will count, but hey, whatever. WTF is Hossa doing? Does he think Ward is going to just let him walk it in? You can't stand in a goalie's crease with the puck and think you're gonna score. Unless you're Brett Hull. God, finally, Rex puts it in on the PP. I thought the shot off the cross bar went in to be honest, but putting it in off the deflection is cool too, we'll take it. 3-2. Dupuis got the Delivery of the Game with a stick hand-off from Thorburn on the bench and if he had scored on that, it might have been the most beautiful play I've seen all season. Can the Canes stop icing the puck? This is totally breaking up the flow, but with only :30 to go in the period, not much flow left to be had.
SOG: Carolina - 14 (+10 blocked) | Atlanta - 15 (0 blocked)
Hockey cliche to sum up the period: Things are turning around for us now.

3rd period
All right, short handed to start it, and then shorthanded almost as soon as the PK's over. Super. On the plus side, the boys only allowed 3 shots on the PK so far. That's a Thrashers-esque shot total (oh yeah, I went there)! Good kill, boys. What the fuck! Up high on Kari's shoulder and he didn't... stop it. I don't know what to say. He should've had it, knuckleballer or not. 4-2. Lotta back and forth this period. Not nearly the energy..... um. Kari's taken up breakdancing apparently, but someone should tell him the moves don't translate to stopping pucks. 5-2. I hate how I get that feeling that once we're down by 2, the team kind of just gives up. And I hate even more that Kari's a fraction of a second behind right now, and it's showing. The weight of carrying the team is clearly weighing on him. I am torn on whether to say to start Moose next game and give Kari a rest, or keep playing him. Being that it's Kari, I want to say keep playing him, because he doesn't handle sitting well. Here's a telling stat. The Canes lead the NHL with 77 3rd period goals. We're screwed! OK while I admire the hope that the Thrash will come back from this, and I am sure I'm not alone in saying this, at this point the team is playing like they're just hoping to keep it a close loss. Because that counts for.... well, nothing. Damn, Slats made the most beautiful spin-o-rama no-look backhand pass across the zone, through three Canes, right to Dupuis' tape, and the guys were so busy talking about the possibility of Hoss going to Montreal that I don't think they even saw it. The Thrashers have allowed 168 shots in the past 4 games. Unacceptable. I am completely underwhelmed by our utter lack of defence. 20 games til the end of the season and this is the shit we're icing? OK Kari is more than a fraction of a second off his timing, and we're just standing around passively, letting the Canes storm into the zone and move the puck wherever they want to be. We can not be a reactionary team, we have to be more aggressive, or we haven't a chance in hell of holding onto our division title. At this point, even saying that feels like a joke. Dump and chase ain't gonna cut it. I don't want to write about this game anymore. Oh Whitey, why do you give me hope? Can they do it? Can they put up 2 more with 1:23 to go?! 5-3. Thank god Tobi has that long stick or we could be looking at 6-3. Not that it matters. Lose by 1, may as well lose by 100.
SOG: Carolina - 10 (0 blocked) | Atlanta - 7 (+4 blocked)
Hockey cliche to sum up the period: We only had a few bright spots tonight.

SOG Total: Carolina - 46 | Atlanta - 28

I think I'm going to be sick....

4 - 1
Exhibit A
Trent Hunter SOG: 7
Sean Bergenheim SOG: 7 (1 goal)
Thrashers SOG: 10

For what it's worth, Bergenheim, being Kari's best friend, is the only one I will accept a goal from. Or maybe Sutton if he'd had one, also being one of Kari's best friends.

Exhibit B
Largest shot discrepancy in franchise history: 27 (1999)
Shot discrepancy tonight: 39

That is a fucking embarrassment, and it is ridiculous. Seriously? 49 shots allowed? Are you effin' kidding me? The next time I read someone lauding our super awesome defence, extolling the virtues of how great our blue line is, how hard they work, I am going to punch that person in the balls and point them to this game, of many. Our #1 problem is our defence, or lack thereof. The only NHL calibre defencemen we really have, who are worth their salary, are Kenny Klee, Tobi Enstrom, ....... wait, hold on I'm thinking. Ex is worth keeping simply for the intimidation factor, but the rest? They can go. Like, yesterday. And I don't mean that against the men personally, I'm sure they're all quite nice and charming and great people. But for this team, for this style of play, they don't fit, and you can't, CAN'T leave your goalie out to dry in a shooting gallery every god damned game, and that is almost consistently what is done. We damned well better be buyers come the 26th, and we'd better be buying some defencemen. Perfect world? Gimme Pronger and Jason Smith. But hey, unfortunately reality tends to impede on my fantasies, and there ain't a chance in hell Anaheim or Philly will give those two up. But we need defencemen of that ilk, at least one.

I was watching the Sabres game today, and after Miller was pulled, Rick Jeneret made a comment that I think applies to Kari's game tonight as well - "Even Frank Sinatra had to clear his throat now and again."

Thank god there's 5 days off. Maybe we can forget this game even happened and look towards the Carolina game. By that time, though, we'll possibly be holding down the SE basement.

Because I picked up the death flu making the rounds of the US, and have been sicker than a dog all day, I am going to chalk this game up to delirium. Or forget it ever happened. Yeah, I like that idea. Here's to hoping the team can do the same thing, and move on from this without letting it break them.

To add insult to injury, Washington's defeated Tampa, and the Canes pulled it over the Kittens.

Days remaining to trade deadline: 10

What the @#$% was that?

4-0

Semi-live blogging, starting in the 2nd....
For one, I'm completely disappointed to see the same god damned team in this game that we saw last time the Thrash played in the Garden. Seriously, only 4 shots in the first, all coming in the last three minutes? That's fucking pathetic, and this team should be ashamed of themselves. If they continue to hang Kari out to dry (again), they should all be rewarded with a damned bag skate. Or go the route of the Oilers and have a trash can skate (skate til you puke). This is embarrassing, and I feel for Kari. For the sweet love of Christ, can we please get some quality defencemen in here and send the dead weight packing??

For two, if Kovalchuk is suspended, and gets enough games, will he be kept out of the All-Star game? I'm not even sure what to say about Kovy's match penalty. I mean, I'm kind of surprised he got that frustrated. He's Kovy. This is what, his 5th year? He should be used to frustration at this point and know how to keep it under control.

Hey awesome, we got our 2nd power play. Another chance for the Rags to put up their 2nd shorthander.

Can I just say, I absolutely hate the lighting in the Garden. You'd think they could cough up the cash for some better lighting, or cans closer to the ice to brighten it up, but whatever I guess. I'm sure it's easier to see the puck for the players but it looks like ass on TV.

We're being outshot 26-9 with 5:04 left in the 2nd. Have I used the word "pathetic" yet?

Oh look, Rex accidentally took out Larsen in his first game back. This is just a snowball rolling downhill now. We'll be lucky to get out of this one with no one dead.

Wow, the third is off to an awesome start with Puffnuts scoring 4 minutes in. Is anyone but Kari actually playing? Kari's actually playing amazingly, but, you know, with no defencemen on the ice, and no backchecking or forechecking.... And so continues the curse of the Garden.

Hey do you know why the Thrash can't use the internet? Cause they can't string together 3 W's. Or two, really, at this point. How bad are the Thrashers playing right now? So bad Dellacamera and Elliot are talking about their mullets. I'd turn it off but I want to see if the Thrash score. I'm losing 8 million on this game. Not that it matters, I'd rather the team get the 2 points than I get the 24 million the odds would win me, but Jesus Harold Christ.

Wow, I was just distracted by a friend telling me Heath Ledger was found dead in his NYC apartment at 1535 today. RIP, Heath. And I missed pretty much nothing while scoping the story on TMZ.com.

Hey, how awesome is this stat? SOG: NYR 39, ATL 14. 7 more from the Rags and Kari will tie his personal high! I'd just like this game to end. Someone stop the bleeding.

Oh good, it's over. I hope Kari personally punches every guy on this team in the balls in the locker room. Except Brad Larsen. Was Hossa even playing??

So whaddya say? Let's do this again Thursday. Except, you know, with the whole team actually contributing, and not just Kari.

I blame myself...

10 - 1
I blame myself for being a dumbass and thinking the Thrash were playing the Oilers. I invested all my energy into figuring out how that would go, and talking to Tater about it and shit, I threw the karmic balance off. Because, you know, it's all about me. Or you. Whichever. But the Sabres were due, am I right? It just sucks their due came against us. Most goals the Thrashers have ever given up on the road, historically.

Anytime a team puts up a touchdown against you before the end of the second, why bother showing up for the third? God love football scores in hockey, although the Thrash coulda put up another 2 to make it a real football score.

Was it Rawhide or Ben who said the Thrash tend to run hot and cold? And good lord, do they. I mean, if I didn't know better, I'd wonder if it was actually OUR Thrasher team that showed up at HSBC, or a bunch of scrubs in our boys' unis. Cause Jesus Christ I haven't seen such bad hockey since the Caps beat the Kittens 12-2 (In... 03?). This was close! Does this go down in the annuls as worst. game. evar? I think so.

You can hit up Trizzy's blog if you want the Sabres' fan view of the game. I bet she's positively peeing her pants because her beloved Staffy put up a hatty.

So here's some pictures. You probably don't want to see them.

There was a lot of this

Followed by a lot of this

And even some of this....

Followed by more of this
(Is it just me or does Kovy look like
he's thinking of taking someone's head off?)

And even one of these.

So... if you're a Sabres fan, last night was your night. You're welcome? If you're a Thrashers fan, you're thinking what I'm thinking, and that's something along the lines of "bag skate!" Skate til you puke boys, the legs feed the wolves, and this type of play is wholly and completely unacceptable. Especially since we're in the race with Carolina, who has now leap-frogged us and is up by one. Granted, we've a game in hand still, which technically puts us ahead of them by 1, but that's technically, not in practice. We're #2 just doesn't have the same ring, does it? And as of right now, should playoffs start tomorrow, we're out.

SOUTHEAST	GP	W	L		OT	Pts	GF	GA
Carolina Hurricanes	50	23	23		4	50	152	162
Atlanta Thrashers	49	23	23		3	49	138	165
Florida Panthers	48	21	23		4	46	119	135
Washington Capitals	46	20	21		5	45	132	144
Tampa Bay Lightning	47	18	24		5	41	135	157

Eastern Conference
	EASTERN CONF.	GP	W	L		OT	Pts	GF	GA
1	Ottawa Senators*	46	30	12		4	64	162	128
2	New Jersey Devils*	46	26	17		3	55	112	106
3	Carolina Hurricanes*	50	23	23		4	50	152	162
4	Montréal Canadiens	46	24	14		8	56	142	129
5	Pittsburgh Penguins	46	26	17		3	55	133	123
6	Philadelphia Flyers	44	24	15		5	53	142	124
7	New York Islanders	46	23	18		5	51	112	126
8	Boston Bruins	45	22	18		5	49	116	120
9	New York Rangers	47	22	20		5	49	114	121
10	Atlanta Thrashers	49	23	23		3	49	138	165

Look, all I ask is that, come the All-Star break, we're atop the division with a comfortable lead of at least three points. That's not asking for too much. Is it?

Who's praying for a veteran, all-star defenceman (or four) come the trade deadline? I know I've got my hand raised and waving wildly.