14 October 2009

It's autumn, the Leafs must be falling

First off, I'd like to congratulate the Leafs on being the WORST incarnation of this team since the team's inception. That is some kind of special. I honestly can't really remember any team starting off the season with a 6 game losing skid. I mean, like ever, in my 20+ years of hockey watching. I'm sure there might've been. Phoenix maybe? Columbus! The Caps sucked for a long time. Which brings me 'round to something...

See I have a particular affinity for the Ron Wilson coaching staff, particularly one Tim Hunter. Mostly cause they're seriously cool guys, and Tim let my friends and I wear his Stanley Cup ring once, and I've never felt so cool in my life. Plus that's the closest I'll ever get to a Stanley Cup ring unless I steal one. Which I wouldn't. I mean, where would I wear it? But I really like Crazy Ron and Hunts and Zettler.  But... like does no one remember the years AFTER the Caps went to the Cup final with them? You know, the... what, 7, 8 years when the Caps SUCKED? When the cheers in the stands when the other team scored were "Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah HEY! WE SUCK!" ? When we booed our own goalies? When everyone came to games dressed as empty seats? When the team was so bad that while sitting in our seats, my mates and I would discuss the potential cities the team would be moving to, and what their names might be? (Seattle Lattes was my personal favourite.) In a way, Wilson, Hunter and Zettler remind me of Jose Theodore and Johan Hedberg. Each had one REALLY GREAT SEASON in their respective positions, and ever since then they've been failing at living up to that legacy.

I'm not a huge Leafs fan. I love Luke Schenn and Nazim Kadri, I hate Mike Komisarek, even though my girlfriend wants to climb him like a redwood and do things to him that are illegal in most of the lower 48. Of course I hate Mike Komisarek, I'm a Bruins fan. But I watch the Leafs for the sake of Schenn. And in hopes that Kadri won't inherit the worst team EVER. My hopes are falling just as are the autumn leaves leafs.

Photo courtesy AP, all rights reserved

But here's a gripe I have that has nothing to do with the shitty play of the team on the ice. Last night's game was broadcast exclusively through Leafs TV, even on Center Ice down here in the states, and for the first, oh, 45 minutes?  There was one second of sound for every 7 seconds of silence. Literally. I sat and counted as I watched for about 10 minutes. I considered muting it because really, the game was kind of better that way. The Avs hadn't scored in the first 10 minutes, but I was too lazy to press play, and I asked around to some friends who all have Center Ice on different cable and satellite carriers. They ALL had the same sound problems. Which means it came out of the Leafs TV broadcast central.

You know, it's not bad enough the team is this bad, but it adds a lot of insult to injury that they can't even get the SOUND to work on an exclusive broadcast. About 10 minutes into the 1st, I gave up and watched Ghost Hunters on DVD. After half of an excellent episode (Ghostly Conversations, if you're wondering), I turned the DVD off and lo and behold - sound! Oh, but Colorado had scored twice to the Leafs once. And remembering the Caps of yore, I knew that meant the Leafs were just going to roll over, give up, and hope no one came out of it dead.

Poor Luke Schenn. Poor Maple Leaf Fans. I'm still going to buy a Luke Schenn shirt as soon as one comes out, and I'll still refer to him as OLAS, but I don't think even Luke can turn around this trainwreck of a season. Like I said, let's just hope no one comes out of this dead. And hey, there's still the Christmas and March trade deadlines to look forward to.... or uh, something.


Anonymous said...

One bad ass toe ring

Maali said...

Are you spying on me?

Wayne stuck in AL said...

Contract Toronto!

Maali said...

Oh yeah THAT would go over well. Can you imagine the lynch mob? And the smug Ottawa fans? And Jim Balsillie salivating at finally getting to put a team in Hamilton?

That IS what you meant by contract right?

Otherwise... dude, what?