No B's or Leafs games this week, although quite a bit of news, but I'm not what you'd call "a news source," so why bother trying to be the 2nd person in the world to re-phrase and re-post a Google alert? You, my readers, are intelligent peeps. I'm sure you'd know stuff without me having to inform you. So instead! I bring you funniness!
First off, Milan Lucic explains to Maxim magazine why getting punched in 30f/-1c weather sucks. While watching, some of you may recall my rather graphic physics lesson in my earlier post. Aha! Found it on YouTube!
Next up, from MLIA (if you don't read this site, you're banished from my blog until you do):
Today, I was watching an NHL game, in the backround you could hear Party In the USA playing at the rink. The camera zoomed onto the teams captain, he was singing along to the song. MLIA
Who was it? Who so badly represented their team's C that they sang along to MILEY CYRUS ON CAMERA?? They better have daughters, whoever they are, because that's the only acceptable excuse for knowing the words to that tramp's songs. Britney, however, is perfectly acceptable.
Third, I heard, as I'm sure you all have, that Mark "Ironman" Stuart is out 4-6 weeks with a broken sternum. And kept playing the remainder of the game AFTER breaking his sternum, at full throttle. That's not the funny part. I also read that he's in a body cast. Still not the funny part. Wondering if said body cast included the aluminum props to hold his arms to the side, I googled "sternum cast." Here comes the funny part. Click that link. For the low-low price of only $40 you can buy a cast of a human hand in puzzle form! For another $20 you can get the hand already put together. I'm considering purchasing one of these for the next time someone asks me for a hand.
By the way, if you were wondering WTF a sternum is, it's the dagger-shaped bone at the front of your chest that steadies your ribs in a protective cage around your heart. And yes, playing with that particular bone broken is foolish and a little reckless, but when are hockey players NOT a little foolish and reckless when it comes to winning games? Does anyone know what a broken sternum body cast looks like? Photos appreciated. Poor Stuey. He had 246 consecutive NHL games played, including playoffs, until, well, tonight. I believe Krejci is the next guy on the team with the Ironman record: 192 consecutive NHL games played, 93 of those with a badly injured hip. Go Krejc go!
Lastly, Mr Luke Schenn will be giving up his press-box seat in favour of a uniform tonight vs. the Sabres. There's a nice article in the Sun about his return, and frankly? I would LOVE to see what would happen if Crazy Ron slapped him upside the head. Anyone else think Luke would punch him as strictly a reactionary measure? I hope Luke used some of his time off to visit a boxing gym and learn how to properly make a fist and throw a punch. I will congratulate Luke on nailing some of the best hockey cliches while being scratched. In my Milan Lucic is to Bill Clinton as Sidney Crosby is to Hilary... Luke tends to fall more on the Hilary side of wooden-ness with the media.
But no, seriously. Who the hell was singing Party in the USA? Have them stripped of their captaincy immediately unless they have daughters.