Know your teammates .... Deal with the devil?

Dear Boston Bruins,

I love you very much. I have a lot of items with your names and logo on them. I support you everywhere I go. I write a blog about your team and how awesome you (most times) are, but I feel the time has come that we need to address a little situation I've been noticing far too much of late: Knowing who your teammates are.

May I present the evidence?

Several games ago, can't recall which but I want to say v Atlanta on 12/30, Blake Wheeler and David Krejci ran into each other head-on. Well, chest-on. Krejci, of course, bounced off the brick wall of Wheels, shot him a dirty look, and climbed back onto the bench.

Last night (please feel free to correct my evidentiary findings, as we all know I don't get to see games on Versus), not only did Patrice Bergeron block a shot of Dennis Wideman's (with his hand, resulting in riding the IR for 2-6 weeks), but Derek Morris attempted to cut David Krejci's head off. I only have photographic proof of one of these instances:

But fret not, dear Bruins. I'm here to help you out with simple team-mate recognition skills. If you look down at your jersey, if it's white, avoid shots and hits from the other guys in white. Same if your jersey is black, or gold. If the guy is wearing any other colour, have at him. Think of the guys in your same coloured jersey as fellow soldiers on the battlefield. While there are such things as "friendly fire," "collateral damage," and "acceptable losses," those really only apply on an actual battlefield, with guns, and life-or-death situations, which as much as it feels like, hockey is not. When in doubt, check your jersey out. Bergie, you get well soon.

In a semi-related segue, I've been thinking this over a little bit, and I almost wonder if Chiarelli didn't inadvertently make a deal with the devil. Haha, I crack me up. No, I mean it only semi-metaphorically. Chia-pet signs Satan, and two days later, the team's best player is injured, in the oddest of ways (blocking a teammate's shot with his hand??), leaving open a roster spot for when Milan Lucic returns, so as to not have to waive or send anyone down from the current roster. Think it through and tell me you don't see the irony/coincidence there. I personally don't believe there's any such things as coincidences.

But look! Looch wearing a mistletoe toque and Ference wearing a frosty the snowman toque while hanging out with sick kids! Day brightener!

Do you think they get to keep the toques???