I've been sick, things happened.

Yeah sorry about not updating since whenever. I've been pretty sick. The Bruins have been pretty laissez-faire. The Leafs, while I don't really give too much of a crap other than about Schenn, have been downright fucktacular. So what's there been to write about. Let's see, I think I can sum up every thing I've missed in a few bullet points.

• Milan Lucic came back from his high ankle sprain and it's taken him about 6 games to start rounding back into form, and took I think 5 for him to score. 
• Marc Savard came back from a tweaked MCL and it took him one game to set up Lucic, and to get the 17-91-81 line back together. Please note: I will never, ever, ever NOT find it hilarious that 17-91-81 is back together with SATAN on the 81 jersey. Irony is my favourite mistress. 
• Marco Sturm came back from something or the other and scored in his first game back.
• Patrice Bergeron came back from a broken thumb and scored in, I believe? His first game back. 
• David Krejci did an almost admirable job of centring the top line whilst the other top centres were out.
• Vladimir Sobotka was awesome.
• Marc Recchi should never be allowed to take faceoffs unless someone else is tossed out of the circle.
• Somehow the Bruins beat the Sharks while missing their top 3 centres, and 3 of their top defencemen. Zdeno Chara taking a slapshot from 15' away in the shootout was one of the greatest things ever.
• Everyone hates Dennis Wideman. I don't. I think he is still pretty great. He's just having the same shitty streak half the team seems to be having. What's up with some dumb bitch going to the PJ Drive and asking him to sign a "How to Skate" book and nagging him about how he sucks? I don't see her out there playing in the NHL. Nice fanship, twatwaffle. 
• I think the Leafs won a game in January.

Then there is the oft-churning rumour mill spouting that the Bruins are looking to pick up Ilya Kovalchuk and/or Dion Phaneuf, with the word in the pipeline that Atlanta wants a player, a prospect, and a pick for Kovy. First off, I find that hard to believe. Unless the player is like, Evgeni Malkin. If Kovy came to Boston, the only untouchable player  in the trade coffers would be Marc Savard, because the whole point of putting Kovy in Black and Gold would be to reunite that scoring tandem. Add in the fact that there's no player on the current roster that any GM in his right mind would give up, that would free up enough cap space, and that Chia-pet has already said there's a better chance of the Leafs winning the Cup this year than there is of him trading that pick he got for Kessel.... Kovy ain't coming to Boston.

And then I come online before dinner to find out the Leafs made a blockbuster trade for Gigurere and Phaneuf. And really, all I have to say about that is, maybe Jason Blake can get some colour on his pale ass out in California, and thank fucking GOD Phaneuf isn't going to Boston. Someone let me know when Burke fires Wilson and I might start paying attention to the Leafs again. Poor Luke Schenn. On the plus side, at least for Schenn, he's now got a new buddy (who's been assigned straightaway to the Marlies) in the system in Keith Aulie, former Wheat King and teammate of a one Brayden Schenn. Find the positives where you can, people.

The Bruins have actually started playing really well, and frankly would've won last night if Thomas' backward momentum on Dustin Brown's shootout goal hadn't slid him and the puck into the net. The Bruins SHOULD have won that game, all things considered. Yeah, sure, they only really delivered about 50 minutes of 65, but you can see last year's Bruins finally starting to come back together. God damned shame it's taken 4 months of the season. And with 2 points separating 6th from 12th in the Eastern Conference.... it should be a fun spring.

Lastly, I would like to say that I love Jack Edwards. No one has more fun than him. And Andy Brickley who has the joy of sitting next to him night in, night out, often wondering when he'll get that 7 second delay and a censor button. Here was last night's (and probably the year's) GEM from Edwards, to kick off the overtime period:

"Krejci and Wheeler are the forwards for Claude Julien in this overtime, with Matt Hunwick and Johnny Bucyk on defence." Insert very long silence where Brick must have just been staring at Jack open mouthed while Jack waited for him to say something, then he realised his mistake. "Oh! I mean Boychuk. Haha, I bet Johnny Bucyk wishes he was out there, eh? Well, they're both from Edmonton, there must be some relation somewhere down the line."

The caveat in this is that, yes, Bucyk and Boychuk are derivatives of the same Ukranian last name, bastardised upon entry into North America, and while I suppose at first glance, the two look similar, I can't really figure out how one could forget that Johnny Bucyk hasn't laced 'em up for the Black and Gold since 1978, and was actually a left winger, not a d-man. But hey, whatever, you win some, you lose some. Well played though, Jack.

Up next for the Bruins are the mighty Caps, who will be missing defenceman Mike Green for the game, who threw an irresponsible peoples' elbow at someone's head and got himself a 3 game suspension. Here's to hoping last year's Bruins show up for this one as well.

Congrats on your 3 wins in January, Boston!

But I'm not all doom, gloom, and sarcasm. A friend of mine found the greatest photo ever of Marc Savard, and I will share it with you, because that's how I do. While probably the most innocuous split-second in a long-forgotten game, this, people, is the reason to get into sports photography. Because every once in a thousand photos, you get something like this:

And that, my friends, is a beauty.

Wides hits 100 and other Bs @ ATL / TOR observations!

Congratulations, Dennis Wideman! 100 NHL points. And way to pick up your O. Mikey Ryder, my fantasy team thanks you. Milan Lucic looks awesome out there. There's been a few missteps, but on the whole, looking good. Coach, thanks for taking my suggestion to put Wides back with Ference.

Um. BOTH Thrasher goals left me agape. My jack was slack. Very, very impressive.

This would be SUCH a better game if there was a roar of a crowd. DURING the game. This is a GOOD hockey game. Sigh.

Awesome. A 4 on 3. Say it with me now, lovelies. FIRE. WAGON. HOCKEY!

Seriously this game really needs a roaring crowd. This is intense. It's just not the same without the OOOOOOOOOOHs and AAAAAAAHHHHHHs.

OK I will do a summary of both games tomorrow because a lot of things blew my mind. Like Blake Wheeler whiffing on an open net in the shootout.  And the Thrashers tying it up in the last minute. I SAW THE PITTSBURGH GAME FLASH BY MY EYES ALL OVER AGAIN. Then it went to the shootout. The SHOOTOUT! I cussed for about 2 minutes straight. I told a friend of mine someone better make sure all the milk crates are strapped down, just in case. But Tuuuuuuuuukks!

Anyway, I was watching the Leafs score on my computer, and WHOAH! up 3-0 in the first! Then the Leafs turned back into the Leafs and went on to lose to Carolina 6-5 in the shootout.

I'm getting a good feel for what it's like to be a fan of the Leafs.It's not much different from being a fan of the Caps in the early 00s. Funny, that.

Vegas odds and Dennis Wideman

I read an interesting article today on the Star, wherein the author pointed out that the current Vegas odds of the Leafs making it to the Playoffs were 1/125 (1.7%). I find a lot lot lot wrong with those odds, because I do a lot of sports betting (WITH FAKE MONEY PEOPLE, I AM UNEMPLOYED) and know a bit about setting the odds and lines, an particularly chaos math. But I had to go take a look and see what the odds are on the Bruins making it.

Now here's one thing I want everyone to keep in mind about Vegas odds at this point. We're ~20 games into the season, or 1/4 of the way through. While commentators and the media love prognosticating this early in the game and saying "if the season ended today...." Except we  need to take into heavy consideration the fact that the season will not, in fact, end today. Here are other things that need to be taken into account, which are not:

• Injuries
• Trades
• Firings
• Olympic fatique
• Streakiness
• Media pressure
  
• Locker-room cancers
• Coaches who can't find their ass with a map and a flashlight

These things are generally NOT taken into account in Vegas odd setting, and introduce chaos theory into the betting predictions. It's almost strictly stat-based, both current and historical, factoring in the stats of all current players, including their stats on previous teams. Odds and lines change daily, and the Bruins losing to the Pens and Isles shifted all the lines in Vegas by 6%, so it goes to show that odds or lines on any given day are subject to change at a moment's notice, and just because Vegas thinks you suck doesn't necessarily mean jack shit.

I've spent about an hour trying to find accurate lines with over/under and parlay on playoff-entry odds, and I'm failing spectacularly, so if anyone knows a good site with all this information (without me having to enter a credit card), please let me know. We'll revisit this later.

Moving on to my favourite B' defenceman, Dennis Wideman.
Dennis, Dennis, Dennis. What are we going to do with you? Is something wrong? Are you hurt? Did you have a personal crisis? I hate saying that you're the B's biggest liability right now, but having watched the past 3 games, I have no choice BUT to say that. Do you miss playing with Ference? Are you relying too much on Hunwick to save your bacon? I just don't understand what the problem here is. Last season you were uh-may-zing. You were a d-man that young kids aspire to be like. We never heard your name mentioned, and that's the sign of a great d-man - they just do their job, they never get credited for it on TV. But the past 3 games, I've heard your name more than if you'd hit up a whorehouse and done the full tour. Get the foot looked out. Get into some yoga. Work on your reflexes, and STOP THINKING ABOUT THE GAME. Just play. That's all. Just play. Be where the puck is going, not where it is. Be where the play is going, not where it is. And for the love of the lord, please don't turn into Garnet Exelby, who has a magnet in his pants and is permanently stuck to the goalpost. You're better than this. A lot better. Let's make this happen. I will cheerlead from the sides, completely with sparkly black and gold pom-pons if necessary. YOU CAN DOOOOO IIIIIIIIIT!